11:11 Waves Blog 42: Fear

Every Monday, I share 1 question for you to contemplate, 1 idea from me, 1 quote from others, and 1 inspiration for us.

This week’s topic is: Fear

Generally, I am not the kind of person who watches and enjoys reality shows. However, over the last few years, the Amazing Race has become a family tradition (with the Amazing Race Australia being our very favourite from the franchise). Throughout the Amazing Race, competitors travel to destinations all over the world competing in thrilling and, at times, extreme challenges. One of the things I love the most about the Amazing Race is when racers acknowledge their existing fears and do not shy away from confronting them. Seeing participants pushing beyond their limits, overcoming their own personal fears and transform into stronger and more conscious individuals is what great Amazing Race moments are made of.

One Question for you

Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

Discuss the question here.

One Idea from me

There are two types of fears. “Natural fears” - the sort of fears that are “functional” and we experience in response to immediate danger and the “Self-created fears” – the type of fears that are thought-driven, grounded in what might happen (rather than what is happening) and get in the way of the “good stuff”. While the “self-created” fears are usually not real, their emotional and physiological characteristics (including stress, anxiety, anger, worry etc.) can be very real. This week, I share three suggestions and practices on how to understand, reframe and embrace your “self-created fears”.

Determine your fears: Marie Curie said: “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” Fear begins to lose its power as soon as we define and acknowledge it. Gaining a deep understanding of fear and its causes can help us deal with it. This week I invite you to take every opportunity where you feel fear and put fear under the microscope. Step into the feeling of the fear, explore it, bring awareness to it and question it fully. Some helpful questions you can explore are: What exactly are you afraid of? What are you painfully uncertain about? What are you feeling and experiencing? What does fear feel like in your body? How is your fear charged and driven by ego?

Flip the switch: When we think about fears, we usually think about the worst-case scenario of a given situation. This week I invite you to reframe how you relate to fear and flip the switch in your mind. This is about recognizing when our attention is caught up in the kind of thinking that negatively impacts our wellbeing and quality of life. Some prompts that can help you to flip the switch include: instead of asking yourself what you have to lose by facing your fears, ask yourself what you have to gain. Instead of thinking of fear as something that needs to be conquered and eliminated, think of it as something that can help you grow. Instead of worrying about the worst-case scenario, get excited about the best-case scenario and its possible rewards.

Cultivate fearlessness: Fearlessness is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of fear. To master something, one must practice deliberately. This week I invite you to cultivate fearlessness by spending some time every day to explore these two questions: What would you do (differently, more of, less of…) if fears were not holding you back? What is one small step that you can take in spite of being afraid? Once you have determined the first small step, take it! Taking a first step empowers us to take another, each one instilling more confidence to take the next.

One Quote from others

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind”. Napoleon Hill

One Inspiration for us

Inspired by this topic, this week I am sharing a videoclip which contains the story of a Canadian figure skater, Deanna Stellato-Dudek. Originally from the US, Deanna was a promising young skater in the late 1990s. After winning medals at Junior Worlds and Junior Grand Prix Final, she had to step away from the sport for good because of a series of serious injuries. 16 years later she attended a work retreat and participated in a team-building activity with colleagues. As part of this activity, she selected a prompt card with the question: “What is something you would do, if you’d have no fear of failure?”. Deanna immediately responded: “I would win an Olympic medal”. Shocked and inspired by her response, she returned to figure skating. Eight partners later, at the upcoming Worlds in Montreal in March 202, Deanna will have the opportunity to fight for gold. I hope you’ll enjoy the clip below!