11:11 Waves Blog 24: Suffering

Every Monday, I share 1 question for you to contemplate, 1 idea from me, 1 quote from others, and 1 inspiration for us.

This week’s topic is: Suffering

Last week I started to read a book called Untamed by Glennon Doyle. In this wonderfully written, witty and heartfelt book, the author shares what she learned on her journey to becoming “untamed”. The book is filled with ah-ha moments and, so far, this one truly resonated with me: “Pain is not tragic. Pain is magic. Suffering is tragic. Suffering is what happens when we avoid pain and consequently miss our becoming.” This made me think about how, in our society, pain is what people fear the most, however pain makes us stronger, humble, empathetic, successful and adaptable: it is what teaches us. Suffering is what’s optional and what happens when we try to skip over the pain.

One Question for you

Pain is universal, suffering is optional.

Discuss the question here.

One Idea from me

PAIN x RESISTANCE = SUFFERING.

Pain is inevitable – it is part of being human and it is made of all the things that we cannot necessarily control about life. Suffering is the tension we create around the pain. Following our protective instincts, we try to push the pain away. Instead of fighting or avoiding our pain, pretending it is not there or turning it into unhealthy behaviours, it is important to identify reality. Below I am sharing two tips on how to do just that.

Practice acceptance: We cannot change things until we recognize them as they really are. Acceptance does not mean being passive about a situation or giving up. Acceptance is an active action, a powerful awareness and a choice in how we respond to events, thoughts and feelings in a mindful way. This week I invite you to pick a situation, break it down into smaller pieces, see these pieces for what they are, pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and expectations. Once you have done this, identify what you should let go of, what solutions you can find, where you can focus your energy more productively and how you can let beauty in.

Stop the catastrophic thinking: Catastrophizing is a type of cognitive distortion that occurs when a person fixates on the worst possible outcome of a situation and let the thoughts spiral out of control leading to a disastrous and overwhelming thinking sequence. They key to stop this process is to learn how to interrupt this illogical sequence of thoughts, reset the inner chatter and go back to a more positive and constructive way of thinking. This week I invite you to practice this by reflecting on the following questions: What stories do you make up about a specific situation? How objective are those stories? Who do they serve? Then work to differentiate the facts from an event from the stories about the event and the meaning you created - including feelings, assumptions, judgements, interpretations and perspectives. How can breaking the sequence of catastrophic thinking help you redirect yourself away from suffering?

One Quote from others

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Rumi

One Inspiration for us

Inspired by the book Untamed, this week I am sharing with you a short section from it called: Feel it all - Enjoy!